The purpose-free life
About 24 years ago a young wealthy and respected Doctor gave birth to his first son.
His son was given the best of everything, schools, housing, access, and privledges. You would think that he would follow in his footsteps, or maybe just be a spoiled brat. But here we ended up with a different reaction all together. The Doctors spawn turned out to be a lazy hypochondriac, forever looking for an excuse. In his life he has been known for such wonders as the following:
1. In 6th grade showing early signs of whets to come he was given an assignment to explain the pledge of allegiance line by line. His response "The first line is about being patriotic, and the rest is self-explanatory"
2. Dropped out of High School in a strategic move to go to community college early.
3. Moved to Arizona to live with his internet girlfriend, was dumped by her and then continued to live with her out of laziness to move.
The following is an actual conversation with the man we will call "Sally" Sally-Iambabelfish42
Royalewithcheez (5:13:38 PM): hey
IamBabelFish42 (5:13:44 PM): Hey,
IamBabelFish42 (5:13:47 PM): Swartz!
IamBabelFish42 (5:13:50 PM): What's happening?
Royalewithcheez (5:13:57 PM): everything
IamBabelFish42 (5:14:02 PM): Good or bad?
Royalewithcheez (5:14:07 PM): good
Royalewithcheez (5:14:36 PM): you
IamBabelFish42 (5:14:49 PM): Coolness.
IamBabelFish42 (5:14:50 PM): How's the wife and house?
IamBabelFish42 (5:16:59 PM): If I can find myself a wife, I'll have to try it someday.
Royalewithcheez (5:17:07 PM): ha yeah
Royalewithcheez (5:15:03 PM): things are good
IamBabelFish42 (5:15:10 PM): Cool.
IamBabelFish42 (5:15:17 PM): Yeah, I moved out to Arizona for like 5-6 months.
IamBabelFish42 (5:15:20 PM): Now I'm in Hanover, PA.
Royalewithcheez (5:15:21 PM): oh yeah?
IamBabelFish42 (5:15:33 PM): Yup. Lived with a girl for a while, but it didn't work out.
IamBabelFish42 (5:17:15 PM): Now I am kind of in a mode where I am going to disability and stuff.
Royalewithcheez (5:17:25 PM): disability?
IamBabelFish42 (5:17:33 PM): Yeah, assorted health problems...
IamBabelFish42 (5:17:37 PM): haven't been able to make a living.
Royalewithcheez (5:17:39 PM): like what?
IamBabelFish42 (5:24:29 PM): chronic fatigue syndrome, tinu syndrome, nerogenic psycophy, migraines....
IamBabelFish42 (5:24:52 PM): Plus, I may also have a mild form of autism, though that's not really a health problem per say.
Royalewithcheez (5:25:10 PM): wow you are just falling apart
IamBabelFish42 (5:25:10 PM): Going to get evaluated for the possible mild autism.
IamBabelFish42 (5:25:15 PM): Yeah, tell me about it.
Royalewithcheez (5:25:27 PM): so how come you can't work?
IamBabelFish42 (5:25:39 PM): http://www.geocities.com/iambabelfish42
IamBabelFish42 (5:25:47 PM): That is a site I made to cover the basics.
IamBabelFish42 (5:25:57 PM): I get those questions a lot so I figured I'd make a page.
IamBabelFish42 (5:26:16 PM): Doesn't cover the recent suspicions of mild autism, but covers most of the other stuff.
Royalewithcheez (5:26:26 PM): alright hold on let me read this
IamBabelFish42 (5:26:35 PM): Okay.
Royalewithcheez (5:28:28 PM): hmm
Royalewithcheez (5:28:56 PM): I should do a biography on you
IamBabelFish42 (5:29:13 PM): I have lived an interesting life.
Royalewithcheez (5:29:27 PM): how would you describe your childhood?
IamBabelFish42 (5:29:36 PM): Mostly miserable.
Royalewithcheez (5:29:41 PM): how so
IamBabelFish42 (5:30:01 PM): Didn't get along with anyone -- parents, teachers, kids in school, siblings.
IamBabelFish42 (5:30:12 PM): Mostly just read books and listened to the radio.
IamBabelFish42 (5:30:22 PM): Which are fun, but not all life is.
IamBabelFish42 (5:30:27 PM): Hated school and such.
IamBabelFish42 (5:30:47 PM): Actually, that is part of why they think I might have this Asberger's Syndrome thing...
Royalewithcheez (5:31:21 PM): which is probably what led you to spending 12 hours a day on the computer back when the internet had nothing but yahoo
IamBabelFish42 (5:31:24 PM): because people with it think differently and don't understand social situations well....
IamBabelFish42 (5:31:39 PM): Yup, basically.
IamBabelFish42 (5:31:53 PM): If you don't get along with anyone, what else is there to do?
Royalewithcheez (5:32:00 PM): so how much did getting made fun of in school affect you
IamBabelFish42 (5:32:34 PM): I would say it made me more introverted and less trusting....
IamBabelFish42 (5:32:46 PM): I took up a lot of solitary hobbies that I could do on my own...
Royalewithcheez (5:32:59 PM): but don't you think you get a pretty tame version compared to what you could have dealt with in public school
IamBabelFish42 (5:33:08 PM): and tend to always be watching my back and waiting for the other shoe to drop with folks.
IamBabelFish42 (5:33:19 PM): You are probably right there...
IamBabelFish42 (5:33:34 PM): though on the other hand public schools have more kids so there are probably groups for geeks and so forth...
IamBabelFish42 (5:33:42 PM): where they can hang out with people like them.
IamBabelFish42 (5:33:52 PM): So I am not sure which would have been better.
Royalewithcheez (5:33:54 PM): yeah but then you just get made fun of as a group
Royalewithcheez (5:34:54 PM): what do you think about people who always thought you seemed to like to put more energy into explaining why not to do something when just doing it would have taken half the time and energy
IamBabelFish42 (5:35:37 PM): Well, it might relate to the Asberger's Syndrome....
IamBabelFish42 (5:35:42 PM): if that is what I have.
IamBabelFish42 (5:35:49 PM): It is possible we were all just talking past each other....
IamBabelFish42 (5:36:05 PM): AS people actually think differently than everyone else...
Royalewithcheez (5:36:18 PM): You seem to be just giving in to whatever illness you might have and using it as an excuse
Royalewithcheez (5:36:28 PM): where is the will to fight through it?
IamBabelFish42 (5:36:28 PM): so something will make perfect sense to someone with AS but they won't be able to articulate it so that everyone else understands it.
IamBabelFish42 (5:36:36 PM): And people with AS may not understand normal people.
IamBabelFish42 (5:36:53 PM): I do my best to cope with the situation.
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:01 PM): With all these physical problems for five plus years....
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:08 PM): I have tried different things...
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:10 PM): they haven't worked.
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:24 PM): So the focus now should be on figuring out a way to get by in life.
Royalewithcheez (5:37:28 PM): well here is a question that is not covered on your Forst FAQ
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:34 PM): I've almost been homeless a couple of times.
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:50 PM): If I can get disability, I will at least survive and can look for a wife or whatever.
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:55 PM): Okay, what is your question?
Royalewithcheez (5:38:19 PM): if you can sit in front of a computer majority of the day and probably for 50 hours a week typing, why can't you just get an office job where you spend all day sitting in front of a computer typing or talking on the phone?
IamBabelFish42 (5:38:49 PM): I sit with my feet up most of the time and take breaks to lay down and rest....
IamBabelFish42 (5:39:00 PM): Not really acceptable in an office environment.
IamBabelFish42 (5:39:15 PM): Plus, it's variable day to day how much I can do.
Royalewithcheez (5:39:19 PM): aren't there work assistance programs out there
IamBabelFish42 (5:40:27 PM): I'm not really sure, getting a lot of this taken care of shortly...
IamBabelFish42 (5:40:34 PM): got an appointment set up to test for AS...
Royalewithcheez (5:41:59 PM): so if it ends up that you can't work what is your plan?
IamBabelFish42 (5:45:59 PM): To try to qualify for disasability. If I do, I will get a small check in the mail each month...
Royalewithcheez (5:46:15 PM): and if you don't qualify will your parents support you?
IamBabelFish42 (5:46:23 PM): I would be poor, but it would be enough to live off of.
IamBabelFish42 (5:46:54 PM): No.
IamBabelFish42 (5:47:13 PM): My uncle found out I was barely getting by in AZ moving from place to place....
IamBabelFish42 (5:47:33 PM): and arranged a deal where my parents would let me live in one of their properties and give me a small amount of cash each week for like 6 months...
IamBabelFish42 (5:47:37 PM): so I could try to get disability.
IamBabelFish42 (5:47:41 PM): After that, I am on my own.
Royalewithcheez (5:47:58 PM): well that's good
Royalewithcheez (5:48:16 PM): so basically you just need to find a really rich wife who doesn't care that you let your body go to hell and that you marry her for her money
IamBabelFish42 (5:48:32 PM): Well, that'd work.
IamBabelFish42 (5:48:45 PM): But I have trouble enough finding just a regular wife, so it's not likely.
IamBabelFish42 (5:49:00 PM): But if I can get the disability checks, I'll at least survive and that's something.
Royalewithcheez (5:49:04 PM): well what religion are you this month?
IamBabelFish42 (5:49:06 PM): If I don't get them, I'm screwed.
IamBabelFish42 (5:49:11 PM): Still Episcopalian, sort of.
IamBabelFish42 (5:49:17 PM): Kind of apathetic about it now.
Royalewithcheez (5:49:34 PM): weren't you Mormon for a while?
IamBabelFish42 (5:55:14 PM): IamBabelFish42: Yeah, like 2 months.
IamBabelFish42: I've been Episcopalian for a couple years now.
IamBabelFish42: But not really strongly so.
IamBabelFish42: It's a cool enough church.
IamBabelFish42 (5:55:57 PM): I was Mormon for like 2 months in 2001.
IamBabelFish42 (5:56:04 PM): I have been Episcopalian for like 2-3 years now.
Royalewithcheez (5:56:39 PM): so you have been catholic, atheist, agnostic, Unitarian, Mormon, Episcopalian anything else?
Royalewithcheez (5:58:03 PM): well why don't you just go Mormon again and bring in a dozen Filipinos marry them all and create an immigrant/wife workforce to pay your way through a life of posting in battlestar galactaca newsgroups and finding free internet porn.
Some info on his "diseases"
Chronic fatigue syndrome:
Basically it is a made up disease that has no known causes and its symptoms are also found in most cases of schizophrenia.
Asberger's Syndrome
Basically this is a disease found in children, and it consists of having a hard time making friends, shying away from eye to eye contact, and smiling rarely. What the hell? I mean does that even sound like a disease to you? That sounds like half of the single population.
T.I.N.U Syndrome: this one may be the only legitimate one mentioned but here is the catch. This is something he had about 9 years ago and it is no longer a current condition. It was never even proven to be the actual case, and it was most likely a result of doing the Atkins diet before it was popular when he was only 14.
Nerogenic Psycophy: No idea what this even is, not a single hit on google. I mean even strawberry diarrhea gets 2 hits.
So in summary "Sally" is a lazy bastard and needs to get a real job and stop waiting to win the lottery.
His son was given the best of everything, schools, housing, access, and privledges. You would think that he would follow in his footsteps, or maybe just be a spoiled brat. But here we ended up with a different reaction all together. The Doctors spawn turned out to be a lazy hypochondriac, forever looking for an excuse. In his life he has been known for such wonders as the following:
1. In 6th grade showing early signs of whets to come he was given an assignment to explain the pledge of allegiance line by line. His response "The first line is about being patriotic, and the rest is self-explanatory"
2. Dropped out of High School in a strategic move to go to community college early.
3. Moved to Arizona to live with his internet girlfriend, was dumped by her and then continued to live with her out of laziness to move.
The following is an actual conversation with the man we will call "Sally" Sally-Iambabelfish42
Royalewithcheez (5:13:38 PM): hey
IamBabelFish42 (5:13:44 PM): Hey,
IamBabelFish42 (5:13:47 PM): Swartz!
IamBabelFish42 (5:13:50 PM): What's happening?
Royalewithcheez (5:13:57 PM): everything
IamBabelFish42 (5:14:02 PM): Good or bad?
Royalewithcheez (5:14:07 PM): good
Royalewithcheez (5:14:36 PM): you
IamBabelFish42 (5:14:49 PM): Coolness.
IamBabelFish42 (5:14:50 PM): How's the wife and house?
IamBabelFish42 (5:16:59 PM): If I can find myself a wife, I'll have to try it someday.
Royalewithcheez (5:17:07 PM): ha yeah
Royalewithcheez (5:15:03 PM): things are good
IamBabelFish42 (5:15:10 PM): Cool.
IamBabelFish42 (5:15:17 PM): Yeah, I moved out to Arizona for like 5-6 months.
IamBabelFish42 (5:15:20 PM): Now I'm in Hanover, PA.
Royalewithcheez (5:15:21 PM): oh yeah?
IamBabelFish42 (5:15:33 PM): Yup. Lived with a girl for a while, but it didn't work out.
IamBabelFish42 (5:17:15 PM): Now I am kind of in a mode where I am going to disability and stuff.
Royalewithcheez (5:17:25 PM): disability?
IamBabelFish42 (5:17:33 PM): Yeah, assorted health problems...
IamBabelFish42 (5:17:37 PM): haven't been able to make a living.
Royalewithcheez (5:17:39 PM): like what?
IamBabelFish42 (5:24:29 PM): chronic fatigue syndrome, tinu syndrome, nerogenic psycophy, migraines....
IamBabelFish42 (5:24:52 PM): Plus, I may also have a mild form of autism, though that's not really a health problem per say.
Royalewithcheez (5:25:10 PM): wow you are just falling apart
IamBabelFish42 (5:25:10 PM): Going to get evaluated for the possible mild autism.
IamBabelFish42 (5:25:15 PM): Yeah, tell me about it.
Royalewithcheez (5:25:27 PM): so how come you can't work?
IamBabelFish42 (5:25:39 PM): http://www.geocities.com/iambabelfish42
IamBabelFish42 (5:25:47 PM): That is a site I made to cover the basics.
IamBabelFish42 (5:25:57 PM): I get those questions a lot so I figured I'd make a page.
IamBabelFish42 (5:26:16 PM): Doesn't cover the recent suspicions of mild autism, but covers most of the other stuff.
Royalewithcheez (5:26:26 PM): alright hold on let me read this
IamBabelFish42 (5:26:35 PM): Okay.
Royalewithcheez (5:28:28 PM): hmm
Royalewithcheez (5:28:56 PM): I should do a biography on you
IamBabelFish42 (5:29:13 PM): I have lived an interesting life.
Royalewithcheez (5:29:27 PM): how would you describe your childhood?
IamBabelFish42 (5:29:36 PM): Mostly miserable.
Royalewithcheez (5:29:41 PM): how so
IamBabelFish42 (5:30:01 PM): Didn't get along with anyone -- parents, teachers, kids in school, siblings.
IamBabelFish42 (5:30:12 PM): Mostly just read books and listened to the radio.
IamBabelFish42 (5:30:22 PM): Which are fun, but not all life is.
IamBabelFish42 (5:30:27 PM): Hated school and such.
IamBabelFish42 (5:30:47 PM): Actually, that is part of why they think I might have this Asberger's Syndrome thing...
Royalewithcheez (5:31:21 PM): which is probably what led you to spending 12 hours a day on the computer back when the internet had nothing but yahoo
IamBabelFish42 (5:31:24 PM): because people with it think differently and don't understand social situations well....
IamBabelFish42 (5:31:39 PM): Yup, basically.
IamBabelFish42 (5:31:53 PM): If you don't get along with anyone, what else is there to do?
Royalewithcheez (5:32:00 PM): so how much did getting made fun of in school affect you
IamBabelFish42 (5:32:34 PM): I would say it made me more introverted and less trusting....
IamBabelFish42 (5:32:46 PM): I took up a lot of solitary hobbies that I could do on my own...
Royalewithcheez (5:32:59 PM): but don't you think you get a pretty tame version compared to what you could have dealt with in public school
IamBabelFish42 (5:33:08 PM): and tend to always be watching my back and waiting for the other shoe to drop with folks.
IamBabelFish42 (5:33:19 PM): You are probably right there...
IamBabelFish42 (5:33:34 PM): though on the other hand public schools have more kids so there are probably groups for geeks and so forth...
IamBabelFish42 (5:33:42 PM): where they can hang out with people like them.
IamBabelFish42 (5:33:52 PM): So I am not sure which would have been better.
Royalewithcheez (5:33:54 PM): yeah but then you just get made fun of as a group
Royalewithcheez (5:34:54 PM): what do you think about people who always thought you seemed to like to put more energy into explaining why not to do something when just doing it would have taken half the time and energy
IamBabelFish42 (5:35:37 PM): Well, it might relate to the Asberger's Syndrome....
IamBabelFish42 (5:35:42 PM): if that is what I have.
IamBabelFish42 (5:35:49 PM): It is possible we were all just talking past each other....
IamBabelFish42 (5:36:05 PM): AS people actually think differently than everyone else...
Royalewithcheez (5:36:18 PM): You seem to be just giving in to whatever illness you might have and using it as an excuse
Royalewithcheez (5:36:28 PM): where is the will to fight through it?
IamBabelFish42 (5:36:28 PM): so something will make perfect sense to someone with AS but they won't be able to articulate it so that everyone else understands it.
IamBabelFish42 (5:36:36 PM): And people with AS may not understand normal people.
IamBabelFish42 (5:36:53 PM): I do my best to cope with the situation.
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:01 PM): With all these physical problems for five plus years....
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:08 PM): I have tried different things...
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:10 PM): they haven't worked.
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:24 PM): So the focus now should be on figuring out a way to get by in life.
Royalewithcheez (5:37:28 PM): well here is a question that is not covered on your Forst FAQ
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:34 PM): I've almost been homeless a couple of times.
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:50 PM): If I can get disability, I will at least survive and can look for a wife or whatever.
IamBabelFish42 (5:37:55 PM): Okay, what is your question?
Royalewithcheez (5:38:19 PM): if you can sit in front of a computer majority of the day and probably for 50 hours a week typing, why can't you just get an office job where you spend all day sitting in front of a computer typing or talking on the phone?
IamBabelFish42 (5:38:49 PM): I sit with my feet up most of the time and take breaks to lay down and rest....
IamBabelFish42 (5:39:00 PM): Not really acceptable in an office environment.
IamBabelFish42 (5:39:15 PM): Plus, it's variable day to day how much I can do.
Royalewithcheez (5:39:19 PM): aren't there work assistance programs out there
IamBabelFish42 (5:40:27 PM): I'm not really sure, getting a lot of this taken care of shortly...
IamBabelFish42 (5:40:34 PM): got an appointment set up to test for AS...
Royalewithcheez (5:41:59 PM): so if it ends up that you can't work what is your plan?
IamBabelFish42 (5:45:59 PM): To try to qualify for disasability. If I do, I will get a small check in the mail each month...
Royalewithcheez (5:46:15 PM): and if you don't qualify will your parents support you?
IamBabelFish42 (5:46:23 PM): I would be poor, but it would be enough to live off of.
IamBabelFish42 (5:46:54 PM): No.
IamBabelFish42 (5:47:13 PM): My uncle found out I was barely getting by in AZ moving from place to place....
IamBabelFish42 (5:47:33 PM): and arranged a deal where my parents would let me live in one of their properties and give me a small amount of cash each week for like 6 months...
IamBabelFish42 (5:47:37 PM): so I could try to get disability.
IamBabelFish42 (5:47:41 PM): After that, I am on my own.
Royalewithcheez (5:47:58 PM): well that's good
Royalewithcheez (5:48:16 PM): so basically you just need to find a really rich wife who doesn't care that you let your body go to hell and that you marry her for her money
IamBabelFish42 (5:48:32 PM): Well, that'd work.
IamBabelFish42 (5:48:45 PM): But I have trouble enough finding just a regular wife, so it's not likely.
IamBabelFish42 (5:49:00 PM): But if I can get the disability checks, I'll at least survive and that's something.
Royalewithcheez (5:49:04 PM): well what religion are you this month?
IamBabelFish42 (5:49:06 PM): If I don't get them, I'm screwed.
IamBabelFish42 (5:49:11 PM): Still Episcopalian, sort of.
IamBabelFish42 (5:49:17 PM): Kind of apathetic about it now.
Royalewithcheez (5:49:34 PM): weren't you Mormon for a while?
IamBabelFish42 (5:55:14 PM): IamBabelFish42: Yeah, like 2 months.
IamBabelFish42: I've been Episcopalian for a couple years now.
IamBabelFish42: But not really strongly so.
IamBabelFish42: It's a cool enough church.
IamBabelFish42 (5:55:57 PM): I was Mormon for like 2 months in 2001.
IamBabelFish42 (5:56:04 PM): I have been Episcopalian for like 2-3 years now.
Royalewithcheez (5:56:39 PM): so you have been catholic, atheist, agnostic, Unitarian, Mormon, Episcopalian anything else?
Royalewithcheez (5:58:03 PM): well why don't you just go Mormon again and bring in a dozen Filipinos marry them all and create an immigrant/wife workforce to pay your way through a life of posting in battlestar galactaca newsgroups and finding free internet porn.
Some info on his "diseases"
Chronic fatigue syndrome:
Basically it is a made up disease that has no known causes and its symptoms are also found in most cases of schizophrenia.
Asberger's Syndrome
Basically this is a disease found in children, and it consists of having a hard time making friends, shying away from eye to eye contact, and smiling rarely. What the hell? I mean does that even sound like a disease to you? That sounds like half of the single population.
T.I.N.U Syndrome: this one may be the only legitimate one mentioned but here is the catch. This is something he had about 9 years ago and it is no longer a current condition. It was never even proven to be the actual case, and it was most likely a result of doing the Atkins diet before it was popular when he was only 14.
Nerogenic Psycophy: No idea what this even is, not a single hit on google. I mean even strawberry diarrhea gets 2 hits.
So in summary "Sally" is a lazy bastard and needs to get a real job and stop waiting to win the lottery.
posted by ryeand at 9:20 AM
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